We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
