so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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