She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
