like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
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I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
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