You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Congratulations! We have a period
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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