You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
