I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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