id be glad to
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
