But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I'm eating all of the evidence.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
