Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
