dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
