i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
