Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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