I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
