dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
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He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
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driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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