i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
