I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
