i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
