I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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