Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
only if we run a train.
done.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
