i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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