FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
