I need help removing her.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
