I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
