when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
