i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
