hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
