i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
