i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
