just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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