Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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