i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
