put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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