this beer tastes like vomit already
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
