what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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