Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
