Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
