Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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