I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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