PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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