Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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