It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
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He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
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He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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