New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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