His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
