Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
