I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
