I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize