I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
