just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
time to smoke my breakfast
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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