You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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