is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
COCAINE IS GR8
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
