There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
