What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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