The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
