The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Every concussion has its silver lining
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
