my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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