omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
