He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
