My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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