I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
is it fun? or sober?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
