Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
