dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
