nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
My vagina just recognized that song.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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